I Don’t Know.

Words cannot express how much I hate myself. Self-hatred has been a part of me since I was very little, and suicide a very real thought. I try to find happiness in little things and other people. Other people love and adore my personality, but that’s good and bad. It’s hard to deal with everything sometimes that I go through- family issues, dead end job, going no where in life- lots of things. I’m a liar, but I’m changing that. I’m a dead beat bum, but I’m changing that. I have very little money and I make people unhappy, usually. I’m fed up with myself and I can never muster the courage to do what needs to be done because I believe I deserve the misery. Instead of laying here I could be making a difference, but I can’t. I am a terrible person. Karma works in funny ways… I sacrifice a lot for people and still fail. I wish I could be better, but I know I deserve where I’m at now.